3 of my favorite things: donna, mr. verizon wireless guy, and dayton.

don't worry mr. krug. we are secretly together too.

we're involved. he doesn't know it.

tis time for photos of my apartment.

i'm not one for christmas, but. . . .

i'm torn

i miss the midwest, my clothes, and my buddies who still reside there. and then there is phoenix. hot as fuck, no seasons, limited amount of clothes. but there are two ppl here i cherish very much and can't see myself leaving. not yet. plus. . .an opportunity has arisen. my friend will be teaching an after school art program and needs an extra hand. this is something i've been wanting to do for quite some time. or at least try.

what shall i do?

coffee, beer, babies, van

Sooo. . .I was talking to my friend. And I was telling him how that it sounds lame, but all I want to do is make coffee and drink coffee nothing else. Maybe drink some beer. And if I have time left over make art.

I sound like one of those dumb bohemian artists that just wants to be a burden on society.

Or. . .I should give in and just make babies. Maybe drive a van around.

Jim replies: hahaha
what are you talking about
coffee, beer, babies, van
you're going to have to pick two, max

I say: only two. . .well shit!

Jim: yeah
i'd go for the van and the babies
you can fit so many damn babies in a van

i miss ohio and its shitty weather.

The Arizonian climate does not comply w/this evasive mood that I am in.

what can i say.

"You're starting to understand that your stress is the result of a stifled, subconscious rejection of your own day-to-day routine."

queenie in trouble

bless god's soul. he sent me a bucket full of insects.

this is what i do at work.

Sometimes I get real lonely in my cubicle and dream about holding my boss's hand.

i should of posted this like 3 weeks ago.

It makes me real nervous that I am more than likely will be looking for another job this December [and . . . another place to live, a sub-leaser]. I’m not ready to leave Phoenix [even though my job sorta sucks].

I’m getting very little feed back from my bosses. I feel like I’m constantly doing something wrong or at least not valued [maybe b/c I’m the intern?]. Granted, I’m still learning the program and how to tackle 30-40 pages [tabloid size] at a time. However, I have had not the opportunity to do anything creative.

I guess you could say that I’m sort of in a rut. I’m having a hard time adjusting from school to the real world. At school you are constantly getting feedback. Most of the time it sucked and was tiresome, but at least you knew where you stood and where that line was for improvement. I can't just say hey boss how am I doing? B/c he sits across the room and might say hi to me once and awhile.

I guess since I’m not paying them. They don't have to pay attention to me.

Anyways. . .Donna [my new buddy in crime] and I decided this weekend was a good time to fuck up my wall. I bought the beer, she brought over the art supplies, and we rocked out that wall till 3 in the morning. More good news . . . no more bugs [no nasty ones at least], my oven is fixed [at least I think], and I finally have a door on my mailbox [that is a whole different story].

ughh. . .w/a somewhat happy ending [part one].

I’ve been trying to make this my last resort to bitch. But here I am, alive and online, w/a load to bitch about. And since I’ve been a bad, sick ass blogger, I thought this would be a great way to fill up some free Internet space.

First and foremost, here are a few things that have remained unchanged and not fixed in this sad happening I call an apartment: a burned out kitchen light, a knob that won’t turn on my oven, and roaches running around buck-wild style.

Second, this very nasty, god awful ear infection that I developed over the weekend. The infection started Friday evening, I numbed it w/a few beers. Woke up the following morning not happy. I rode my borrowed bike to CVS, bought some ear relief medicine, and went back to bed. Woke up a few hours later still not happy. After debating w/myself and a friend for an hour online, the friend finally decided for me that I should go to urgent care.

The trip to and fro urgent care was absolutely awful. After the lady at the front desk told me that my initial deposit was 125 bucks and that the cost could get up to four or five hundred dollars, I had myself a minor panic attack. Took an hr. or so before I was checked, prescribed, and billed. Went to one Walgreens sent across town to another one. Waited another hour plus more for my meds. Mind you I’m in a great deal of pain during this span of time.

The icing on the cake, I couldn’t find my keys. After checking and rechecking my stuff, revisiting the pharmacy, I finally lose it. W/my backed turned to the counter, I sobbed [quiet like]. And like w/any climax comes a gigantic plunge to humility. I check the jacket [the one I never wear b/c it is mother fing hot here all the time, 24-7] and wa-la keys. I dried my eyes, grabbed my bag/meds, and walked out of Walgreens.

second day of work and i already want to curl up in a ball and die.

I think my supervisors forgot that they have an intern. Or they are peeved that I was irresponsible to forget my wallet at home which caused me to miss my first week of work. To make a long story short, I had a run-in w/HR . As much as I don't want them to, they will be addressing my concerns to the higher-ups tomorrow. I don't want to go to work anymore;(

a princess plate, tamales and a few dirty roaches.

I finally mustered up the courage to venture on the other side of town. I, along w/monster wheels, rode to 16th & Van Buren in search of a Salvation Army. Instead, I found an adult bookstore. On the way back I stopped at a dollar store to purchase a few items. Before entering, an older lady sitting outside of the store [w/one of those pulley carts] beckoned for my attention. At first I thought she wanted me to buy her some enchilada sauce and chicken. After a few seconds of going back and forth confusion, it finally became clear to me that she was selling tamales. I felt like a total goob for assuming she wanted a handout and ended up buying two.

I bought a few boring items from the dollar store. However, the purchase that made shopping worthwhile was the pink, plastic plate adorned w/two Disney princesses. On the way home I kept on dropping my shit. I also kept on getting my dress caught in between the tire and brake pads of ‘monster wheels’ [which was definitely no fun].

The tamales I bought outside of the dollar store weren’t all that bad. Except, right now I’m feeling sort of not good. I’m having a hard time deciphering it is poisoned food or my obnoxious anxiety that I haven’t been taking care of.

BTW. . .I think the bugs that I initially thought were cute when I first moved in are roaches. I caught them fighting over the left over tamale crumbs on my princess plate. Totally not cool.

'monster wheels'

For all the silly things I've done/experienced so far [especially in Arizona], I've also been fortunate enough to have really good things happen to me. For example, this very pretty lady from the coffee shop I frequent allowed me to borrow her spare bike until I could afford my own. It has what I would like to call 'monster wheels.' It makes me laugh. If only I had a picture of me prowling through downtown, skirt a flappin,' on 'monster wheels.'

On another note: Two security guards of Chase Tower [largest building in Phoenix] offered me a view of the city from rooftop. Sounds like a good ol' gang bang to me.

i lucked the fuck out.

I missed the FedEx guy. He had my wallet w/my cash, my credit/debit cards, and i.d. I flipped. I couldn't go an extra day w/out it. The pickup address was in Tempe. A 20 minute drive from Phoenix and a day trip on the bus. I bit my tongue hard, gathered my shit, and was about to head out the door when. . .by the power of the divine himself. . .the FedEx guy miraculously appeared on the other side of the door. I could of kissed him, but I didn't.

things i need to buy to live [sooner or later].

One day I will have money. And on that day I will buy these things in order to live: an air mattress, a pillow, a plate, bowl, and silverware, a trashcan and some trash bags, a shower curtain, a bicycle, a messenger bag, a pass to the y, some food, and sunblock. O. . .and maybe I should get a hold of Sallie Mae.

omg. i'm in hell.

Man…if i saw an armadillo right here, right now it would totally improve my mood. The desert sucks. It only takes being outside for a half hour and I want to die. Maybe it is not the right time to give my opinion. I left my wallet [i.d. and all] at home, barely got on the plane, and I came in too late to set up my electricity. I’ve been at the mercy of my coworkers to give me a place to stay during the evening. I don’t have a bike and I don’t know how to use the bus either so I’ve been walking everywhere! Good news…I got my 250 dollar deposit fee waived for my electricity b/c I signed up for automatic billing. I saw a different kind of bird. And I found a Starbucks. I honestly don’t know how the homeless cope w/the heat. I feel homeless [especially today], however I’m allowed into places of business to cool off.